Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Guess who's back
After months of silence I return to the blogging scene! this time though there will be less attempts to hidden humour and sarcasm as they are obviously not my strong point. I wish to discuss however how my time in the United States has and will be until i graduate in 2015 ( thats if we live past 2012) and the "culture shock" I should be experiencing. watch this space for exciting blogs!
Friday, 15 April 2011
Education of today
I havent been posting a lot recently and there is a reason... only 6 people read this so yea.... but anyways toadys one is short because I have little time left before I must leave the computer.
Right so not too long ago I began teaching at a primary school in my neighbourhood and it's probably the most unpredictable job I have ever had (not that I've had many jobs to begin with lol). There are many reasons why I say this but I will only offer 3.
The first good reason happened at a training session we had 3 weeks ago. The kids had a tough day on the track and it was time for them to stretch and cool down their muscles. As the hardworking coach that I am (not really), I decided to sit in the background while the kids took initiative and did the stretches by themselves. All was well until it was time to stretch their hamstrings (done by sitting down legs together and flat on the ground and reaching for your toes) and for some strange reason the boys moved to face the girls in this exercise. ''no problem,'' i thought, ''these are kids, nothing sinister here.'' halfway into the stretch one of the boys says, '' no no, you are doing it wrong, everyone must stretch with their legs wide open!'' (the girls wore skirts). I was shocked at how fast these boys had figured out what is.... well you know the rest :) Anyways the moral of the story was that do not be quick to assume the innocence of 12 year olds, it turns out they know much much more than you think.
The second reason is sort of supported by the first. On a different practice day we were about to start training and my close friend and I were sitting on the bench talking. One of the girls who is 11 came up to my friend and said, ''wow coach Sarah (my friend) now that you wearing shorts I must say, you have sexy legs!'' It didnt stop there though, one of the boys who finished primary school the year before was there and actually tried to hit on her! Ah yes the joys of teaching.
The thrid reason is a bit of a selfish one. You see the kids emulate what they see, if you are a useless stuck up son of a.... ( sadly I cannot finish that statement because... well... Ill get into trouble) then they will act the same way. So recently I noticed that when these kids take charge of stretching the muscles, the one who is leading takes his or her time to end the stretches where the rest of the kids start to complain of pain. Im the only one who does that. It must mean that either they want to be fit and well stretched as I want them to be, or that I am a cruel young man who derives pleasure from peoples pain....
thats open for discussion :)
Right so not too long ago I began teaching at a primary school in my neighbourhood and it's probably the most unpredictable job I have ever had (not that I've had many jobs to begin with lol). There are many reasons why I say this but I will only offer 3.
The first good reason happened at a training session we had 3 weeks ago. The kids had a tough day on the track and it was time for them to stretch and cool down their muscles. As the hardworking coach that I am (not really), I decided to sit in the background while the kids took initiative and did the stretches by themselves. All was well until it was time to stretch their hamstrings (done by sitting down legs together and flat on the ground and reaching for your toes) and for some strange reason the boys moved to face the girls in this exercise. ''no problem,'' i thought, ''these are kids, nothing sinister here.'' halfway into the stretch one of the boys says, '' no no, you are doing it wrong, everyone must stretch with their legs wide open!'' (the girls wore skirts). I was shocked at how fast these boys had figured out what is.... well you know the rest :) Anyways the moral of the story was that do not be quick to assume the innocence of 12 year olds, it turns out they know much much more than you think.
The second reason is sort of supported by the first. On a different practice day we were about to start training and my close friend and I were sitting on the bench talking. One of the girls who is 11 came up to my friend and said, ''wow coach Sarah (my friend) now that you wearing shorts I must say, you have sexy legs!'' It didnt stop there though, one of the boys who finished primary school the year before was there and actually tried to hit on her! Ah yes the joys of teaching.
The thrid reason is a bit of a selfish one. You see the kids emulate what they see, if you are a useless stuck up son of a.... ( sadly I cannot finish that statement because... well... Ill get into trouble) then they will act the same way. So recently I noticed that when these kids take charge of stretching the muscles, the one who is leading takes his or her time to end the stretches where the rest of the kids start to complain of pain. Im the only one who does that. It must mean that either they want to be fit and well stretched as I want them to be, or that I am a cruel young man who derives pleasure from peoples pain....
thats open for discussion :)
Friday, 25 March 2011
I speak no Christianese
Disclaimer: If you get pissed off at/because of the following article, the writer would like to issue this statement: don’t take life so seriously, this is only an entertainment blog, if you don’t like what you read; stop reading.
***********
Today I was not amused with having to give up my day off to help my aunt out, but later I decided it was the best decision I made because of an article I found in a local newspaper which is the inspiration for todays blog.
How many times have you heard or been in this kind of conversation: “hey vusi, how u doin?” “Why I am graciously anointed by the holy spirit and highly favoured by the Lord my savior”; “Dude, you will die if you don’t do this medical procedure” “Its ok I am a soldier of God”
Both situations highly irritate me. And not because people are at “peace” and I’m not but because I asked a simple question or offered a statement that did not require a religious answer. That kind of response is given to the men and women of the cloth not your workmates and colleagues.
What is even more annoying is the oh so famous “ It is demonic to read harry potter or listen to Lady Gaga”. Really? Will I roll on the floor chanting demonic statements and frothing at the mouth while some pastor beats my brains in with a bible trying to out the “demons” because I listened to Alejandro? I don’t think so. Neither do I think being exposed to fictional works that are entertaining to read will make me go blind as punishment from the all mighty for reading and enjoying a tale of witches and wizards.
The christianese that has taken over society and is turning people into idiots. Honestly, how can a person ditch his family and children because they want to be with their spiritual family? Trust me, by going to an all night prayer you are getting your child to hate you but surely prayer will help yes? No. Remembering you are a parent and being there for your kids will.
I’ve heard people call women in their congregation sister X and the men brother Y and deacon Z or sometimes I’ve heard father BBC is my “spiritual father” and we must go to an all night prayer even though my son has a play the same night God comes first. There are a few flaws to that… If you are married and in your church you call everyone brother X and sister Y one can deduce from this logic that you are commiting incest. Still a fun idea? Or that this spiritual father probably has 100 or more men or women who are also his “spiritual children” so how will he be able to “spiritually care” for your individual whiny needs?
I could go on for hours about christianese and the idiots that are its offspring but for the sake of losing interest I will stop here. Let the insults in the comment reel begin from the Christians and other religious nuts I have offended.
Monday, 14 March 2011
Bonjour, Mhoroi, Hello etc
OK I have a blog now! I can safely say I am a true geek now, my computing life is complete :) **looks to the sky in an inspirational website pose**
alright now that I'm over that lets start blogging!
Those of you reading who know me might be a little perplexed as to why I've decided blogging... well I have a trend that I noticed that I think will best explain my reasoning:
To avoid my embarrasing situation, Ive come up with a new theory as to why Ive decided to blog; my title.
Look at it, aint it beautiful? and it was made posible by my ability to be multilingual which is a result of many beatings from the teachers, a few visits to Jembis (old headmasters) office, a few croissants in Ms G's (my mum :) )class and endless happy birthdays in the dining hall. However such impeccable linguistics need to be kept sharp by constantly practicing, so Im going to have my posts in English, Shona, Latin and French! I'm Lying.
I think I have successfully wasted five minutes of your time (which was my original intention **evil smile) so I will tell you why I REALLY made this blog. Its because I think I observe lots of things so i thought why not jot down my thoughts on afore named observations on a simple blog... given Ill include a little sarcasm, a little sexual inneundo and a little rambling but it will still be worth reading i promise (kindly read that sentence again by removing the words "a little").
So there you have it, Tinashe Chidziva saying it with a Zimbabwean Eyes view... Unbiased, Always focu..... wow she got an a... I mean... what was I saying? Forget the amazing news style tagline. I'm gonna write what i think here and you are going to read and like it. No further instructions shall be issued.
PS I intend to make my other posts with pictures for those who need visual aid, which I guess is no surprise if you're a man, but, if you're a lady im sure your imagination and intelligence will find this satisfactory, I mean ladies could read about "clouds" making it rain and they'd get wet **wink**
2nd PS i deliberately said man and lady, its not my poor grammar, I would have to be drunk to let that happen.... which can be arranged hehe ok Now Im really stopping!
alright now that I'm over that lets start blogging!
Those of you reading who know me might be a little perplexed as to why I've decided blogging... well I have a trend that I noticed that I think will best explain my reasoning:
- Mark Zuckerburg dissed his chick on his blog... he later made facemash then facebook...
To avoid my embarrasing situation, Ive come up with a new theory as to why Ive decided to blog; my title.
Look at it, aint it beautiful? and it was made posible by my ability to be multilingual which is a result of many beatings from the teachers, a few visits to Jembis (old headmasters) office, a few croissants in Ms G's (my mum :) )class and endless happy birthdays in the dining hall. However such impeccable linguistics need to be kept sharp by constantly practicing, so Im going to have my posts in English, Shona, Latin and French! I'm Lying.
I think I have successfully wasted five minutes of your time (which was my original intention **evil smile) so I will tell you why I REALLY made this blog. Its because I think I observe lots of things so i thought why not jot down my thoughts on afore named observations on a simple blog... given Ill include a little sarcasm, a little sexual inneundo and a little rambling but it will still be worth reading i promise (kindly read that sentence again by removing the words "a little").
So there you have it, Tinashe Chidziva saying it with a Zimbabwean Eyes view... Unbiased, Always focu..... wow she got an a... I mean... what was I saying? Forget the amazing news style tagline. I'm gonna write what i think here and you are going to read and like it. No further instructions shall be issued.
PS I intend to make my other posts with pictures for those who need visual aid, which I guess is no surprise if you're a man, but, if you're a lady im sure your imagination and intelligence will find this satisfactory, I mean ladies could read about "clouds" making it rain and they'd get wet **wink**
2nd PS i deliberately said man and lady, its not my poor grammar, I would have to be drunk to let that happen.... which can be arranged hehe ok Now Im really stopping!
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